I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
