he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize