Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
