i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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