Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
