I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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