So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
