I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize