Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
