If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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