Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
