put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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