So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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