she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Randomize
