Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
