Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
he fucked my hip out of place.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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