after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
