Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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