Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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