I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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