so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wish I only lived at night.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
