I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
