yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think weed is turning my hair brown
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
