God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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