was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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