You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
