On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
