Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
