Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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