What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
