i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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