And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
