That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The feeling are messing with the penis
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
