new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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