So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize