Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have aggressive nipples.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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