I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
