Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
