If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
