I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
