Your dad touched me again.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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