Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
