I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
