Sponge bath it is.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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