Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
barbara walters just said penis...
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Say something about gay babies.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
