So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
