The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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