I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
