I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
