I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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