gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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