Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Randomize
