idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
