I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
