In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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