who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize