somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Randomize
