i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
