we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
