My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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