Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
