I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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