I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
