google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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