Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
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Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
