did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
