wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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