my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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