I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
