Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't turn off my feet"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
